Bitterbarn’s Weblog

aka “The Bull” (some content not suitable for children or religous zealots)

… or for worse

Warning: This is Not Funny (Amended 12/8/07)
I’d just like to mention at the outset; today I am in my wifes good graces. What I mean by that is. Today (not everyday) is a day in which she has found me to be acceptable.

… Or for worse

For better or for worse; I don’t care where you got married in a church or on an island, at the city courthouse, in a temple, a drive-through in Vegas or on a cruise ship. When humans get married they make a promise; ” to love and to cherish, for better or FOR WORSE; till death” . Given divorce rates in this country one can only assume that people maybe didn’t hear the last part of that vow; “for worse till death”. Yeah… maybe they didn’t hear it. or, maybe they thought for worse just meant like “will you take care of your spouse if they have a cold”? Maybe they think For worse is something that only happens to “those guys <insert favorite unliked special interest group>”.

I would contend with you that “for worse” is for real. lets name a few just so everyone feels better; Adultery, Alcoholism, Smoking, Gambling, Pornography, Criminal activity ie murder, robbery, theft, Tax evasion, incest, spouse abuse etc etc etc.., In-law dislike, workaholic, slob, criticism, close talker, man hands, balding, weight gain, bad gas mileage, bad plumbing, bad financial management, over bearing, a burden, sudden blindness, hypochondriac, poor taste, bad dresser, bad cleaner, unkempt, insensitive, bad breath, skin tags, Cancer, car wreck, KIDS, PMS or just general dislike for him/her.

That’s all I can think of at the moment. feel free to add to the list of “for worse” possibilities.

The Point; When we get married we accept the fact that anyone or all of these things could and will befall us. If you cant hack it don’t get married. Its not for everyone. The beauty about “for worse” is; It’s the stuff that actual real life love is made of. I suggest that if you haven’t had any of the previous happen to you then you are missing out. For it is through the passing of such obstacles that Love between a couple is forged. When you commit to get married you are in a sense saying “Bring it on”; “Bring the misery and I will show my mettle ”

My personal opinion is this: for the one who gives up, who can not endure to the end. For the one who was just kidding when such commitments were made. For the one who believes they are here to enjoy happiness rather than opposition. When it all ends, and you cannot muster the vicissitudes of this life; your marital rights (I believe) are forfeit. Marriage isn’t for sissies.

amedment: by marital rights I mean assests and alimony. The jest of this entire post is express my opinion that the one who intiates a divorce should not have any legal rights to assests accrued over the course of marrige.

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December 5, 2007 - Posted by | Uncategorized | ,

8 Comments »

  1. And a big AMEN to your comments!

    Comment by Kathy | December 6, 2007 | Reply

  2. True. I’d like to add, just knowing that the “for worse” can make you “far better” doesn’t make it easy. My advice to all seeking marital bliss is: make sure on any given day, good or bad, that this is the person you want by your side. If yes, I give my blessing (not that anyone’s actually asking for my blessing…advice is free)!!! I believe unsolicited is your fave word for that!

    Comment by April | December 8, 2007 | Reply

  3. All the things you’ve described, are the reason why I want to grab anyone thinking about getting married, especially young girls, and scream, “STOP WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!!” So many dumb young girls think it’s all about a dress, and a ring, and playing house. When in all reality, it’s the source of most people’s depression. All this and you’d never guess that I actually love my husband and am almost daily glad to be married to him.
    PS-I agree with your amendment. I think the accruments of marriage are too often boasted as trophies post divorce.

    Comment by Andrea | December 10, 2007 | Reply

  4. I’d like it known that I am a source of depression for more than just Andrea. I think 50% of the people who get to know me, are a little sadder, especially children.

    😉

    Comment by BugHunter | December 10, 2007 | Reply

  5. lol, thats hillarious.

    Comment by bitterbarn | December 10, 2007 | Reply

  6. Well I feel the obligation to post that this blog is not the aftermath to a big blow out. Which does happen in our humble abode. I want to say for the record that I LOVE my husband more than life. He should get an award for best daddy, best provider, best husband, best(ya know what I mean.) best EVER. However, we all KNOW I am building a mansion in heaven, and I will probably be exalted any day.

    Comment by melissa smith | December 12, 2007 | Reply

  7. Wes I must admit I was saddened upon meeting you, However the depression has passed. I think it is the eyebrows. lol

    Comment by melissa smith | December 12, 2007 | Reply

  8. And now, to make this a political issue. The one bad egg that ruins it for the rest of the bunch. I would argue that the root of the laws such as ‘no fault divorce law’ (Signed by Ronald Reagan, one of his very few mistakes-albeit an honest mistake-I’ll explain later), or other laws that give the shaft Quite literally to those left in the wake of a divorce where created by so-called compassionate liberal minded governors and law-makers, when examining individual cases felt it necessary to protect certain individuals and grant the privelages of divorce as explained in the blog above. For example. President Ronald Reagan signed a law passed in California enabling the ‘no fault divorce’ law. This enabling couples to end marriages without due evidence of guilt or trespass. At the time Ronald Reagan as governor of California I’m sure examined a few cases where the people would benefit greatly from lack of legal fees and drawn out legal processes, and probably some other determining factors. Very soon after he signed this law in California, the remaining 50 states signed into effect very similar laws, and the unintended consequence was the huge increase in divorce rates. No fault, no responsibility, Get out while the gettin out is good. In retrospect Ronald Reagan strongly regretted his actions that formed this law (and later President Ronald Reagan proved conservative on the majority of family values and related issues). I bring up this story to illustrate what happens when so-called ‘compassionate’ liberal minded judges, and lawmakers try to help the weak, or underserved. It inevitably comes around to kick the rest of Society in the face.

    Comment by Dallon D | December 28, 2007 | Reply


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