Bitterbarn’s Weblog

aka “The Bull” (some content not suitable for children or religous zealots)

to breast or to bottle? That is the question.

I am gonna get this breastfeeding post out of the way cuz; I can’t sleep at night. Holding my readership in suspense is so cruel. 🙂

Why would I ever to commit to write a post about breastfeeding <to self> I’ve never breastfed anyone, heaven knows I’ve tried to breast feed myself. <butt out!! this is still to myself> . umm… I like breasts, I’ve seen my wife do it. I’ve dealt with the after math. <self, self, self>.

Ok, What I really want to do is make a mockery of people who try to breast feed but quit cuz ” it hurts 😦 )” , Then I would go on to make them feel guilty by highlighting studies that show your kid will be a ding dong if you don’t etc. etc. etc. But that line of conjecture has been played. Plus, its bad timing for me personally. So, Breast Feeding in Public.

Who can hate breastfeeding in public? not me. Sometimes, when my sister-in-law, or wife’s friend is over, sitting on our couch. she’ll say <looking at me> “is it alright if I feed him out here (in the open)”? Assuming this question is directed at me I say “absolutely its ok and I WILL LOOK “. I like to get that out in the open. Rather than continually fight the temptation to look I thinks its better if all the nursing women out there know. If your gonna wip it out in front of me, I WILL LOOK. and that’s that. (your an exabitionist and I am a peeping tom get over it )

Did I ever tell you about the time I was a missionary in the Philippines and I was talking to a lady in the park when her 8 year old kid came up, lifted up her shirt and knocked back a few fingers of breast milk while I sat there and taught her about the savior? Or the time my wife and I went on an “overnight-er” to get away from our kids but forgot the breast pump. I spent about an hour milking her to relieve the agony.

This is pretty much all I want to say about the subject except this. if you do it, its not for ninnies. It hurts, your nipples will crack and bleed. you will probably get mastitis but if you give up….. well …..

the bull

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January 2, 2008 - Posted by | Uncategorized | ,

4 Comments »

  1. The opinions expressed in this blog do not reflect those of the management Which we all know is ME!!! The reason matt is pro nursing is because it means he doesn’t have to get up in the night. I have been referred to on many occasions as a nursing Nazi and proudly “bare” the title. I 100% believe in nursing and think any pain should be born to further the process. However, it is only because I am too lazy to get up in the middle of the night and too flighty to decide how many bottles I need before I leave the house. I however resemble a Filipino dog. See the former blog on Victoria and her secret. By the way I nursed all my children and they can hardly walk in a straight line.

    Comment by melissa smith | January 2, 2008 | Reply

  2. I was going to comment, but found myself getting too involved to do so. Because I like you so much (and after all, we’re family), I’ll just say I like Melissa’s thoughts and champion her fabulous style of management!

    p.s. I didn’t quit because “it hurt”!

    Comment by April | January 4, 2008 | Reply

  3. I always knew that you were looking at me, Matt. It really was the best part about breastfeeding…… You should see them now, however, they are real and spectacular….well, at least spectacular.

    Comment by Holly Brimhall | January 9, 2008 | Reply

  4. Holy shite – this is funny as hell. I don’t think I will ever look at my boobs and breastfeeding the same again. And I don’t even had kids. LOL

    Comment by Hules | January 30, 2008 | Reply


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