Bitterbarn’s Weblog

aka “The Bull” (some content not suitable for children or religous zealots)

I am legend? Should be “I am legion”

Freak,… Freak…. Freaky

I don’t do movie reviews. I am not one to even notice usually weather there is a plot or not. I just like to be entertained. This time I got a little more that I bargained for so I’ll tell you what I wish someone would have told me. First more background.

When I was a lad my mother and aunt took us to see the cute Little move E.T. Well I must be wired differently because E.T. so scared me as a youngster that I slept with the lights on in my room for at least a year. In side that year, I didn’t even dare to be alone in the bathroom. I would often bribe my brother to at least come “stand guard” if I had to run down to the basement to get a blanket or turn the lights off. I remember full nights of lying awake in bed, sweating in pure white fear. What might I ask is so cute about an alien? At any rate for years and years after that I was very careful about what I watched. I accidentally watched “The Last Star-fighter” while at a friends house and paid a huge personal price for years. Something about the way my brain is wired; when I watch a movie (even if its just intense) I am actually in the movie. Who didn’t come out of karate Kid doing “the crane”? I am 32 now and have noted in the last decade things have gotten better. Lord of the Rings, Van Helsing, and other movies that would have otherwise scared the bejezzzus out of me seem to have no more effect. Am I just more mature now? Maybe I finally realized what people said all along “its just a movie its not real”. Or maybe I have finally come to grips with that fact that dying in my bed at night may not be so bad after all.

Well last night we went to the movies. We didn’t plan what movie we would see. The plan was to just go to the theater after dinner and see what was playing. We ended up seeing “I am Legend”. Having felt a small victory over what my wife wanted to watch “P.S. I Love You” I settled in for what surely would be another great, hilarious Will Smith flick. It didn’t take long until I was the only grown man in the theater with his coat over his head. I sat and looked at my wife’s face until she told me it was “safe” for me to look again.


This flick is getting great reviews and I don’t want you to think I am just sour grapes but, as the movie replayed over and over in my head all night. It hit me that there were huge holes in the plot. I am not even sure where the title comes from. Scary doesn’t even seem to cover it. The digital animation is actually below average. I think the scariest thing about it is that something like this could actually happen to us, and probably eventually will.

January 5, 2008 - Posted by | Uncategorized |


  1. I used to think it was funny when matt got scared. Well I am still a little amused. He isn’t kidding about the coat over his head. Well anyway it really isn’t that funny. I was forced to drink two dr peppers and watch the office until matt finally could sleep. We now have a shotgun rammed between our mattresses. I also have no doubt that if someone were to attack us in an alley. I would be sacrificed to give matt some get-a-way time. Remind me to tell you about the time we went to the fire alarm demonstration. I woke up for weeks to matt standing on our bed feeling the ceiling for heat.

    Comment by melissa smith | January 5, 2008 | Reply

  2. I want Melissa to start a blog! In other news, I unfortunately inherited the same “afraid of just about everything” gene. I can’t even stomach scary movie trailers and have a similar E.T. experience. I braved “Scream” once, and spent the entire night “racked with some version of eternal torment” and dragging in baby bro to sleep on the trundel bed, while I left the lights on.

    Comment by April | January 6, 2008 | Reply

  3. You see, E.T. scared the crap out of me too. One time, while on a yearly trip we watched Enemy Mine on the TV in the condo. I made The Bull hold my hand all night so I could sleep.

    At some point though, something clicked in my head that didn’t in Matt’s. A movie has to prove to be very very seriously possible to scare me at all, I can get starled easily enough in a movie, but no lasting effects. To get under my skin, it can’t be just aliens or mutated humans anymore, it has to be real. For instance, we rented Disturbia a while back and we couldn’t finish the movie until it was daylight the next day. After that, I was wondering if either of the houses across the street were killing people and hiding them in their basement.

    Comment by BugHunter | January 6, 2008 | Reply

  4. April I am flattered. You are so nice. I tried to start but I am not as clever as you and matt. So I thought I would add some family news and pictures to matts blog. WEll WELL WELL I was quickly corrected in my thinking. THIS is not a family blog. So I will start one. It will mostly be a brag board, online journal of my children. SO watch for Happy Hay blog.

    Comment by melissa smith | January 7, 2008 | Reply

  5. Silly Melissa. Cleverness has never been a requirement for having a blog. Most of the people who shouldn’t have blogs, do.

    Comment by BugHunter | January 7, 2008 | Reply

  6. I hope I am not about to give e-nformation to a joking blog entry.

    The title “I Am Legend” comes from the original 1954 science fiction novel, authored by Richard Matheson, about the last human alive after an infectious disease turns the rest of humanity into vampires. Eventually a new “living” breed of vampires takes over and begins a new society, leaving the vampire hunting protagonist in the position of being the new legend – where vampires terrified humans, the vampire hunter terrifies the new race. His final musing in the story, beholding the dread he is regarded with by these beings is “I am legend.” It’s supposed to be scary because it’s about fear.

    Comment by joiless | October 13, 2008 | Reply

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