Bitterbarn’s Weblog

aka “The Bull” (some content not suitable for children or religous zealots)

Special Church

addendum 1/30/08

at the outset I’d like say that I have been up for about 40 hours now so…

We were late to church on Sunday (surprise). As we were comming into the chapel the bishop was making some kind of explanation about “special church” lol,,, (and all along I thought I was IN special church. After-all, I rode the special bus )

Anyway I kinda blew it off, like I do most things. while at Church. During the service one of my children went nuts so I took HIM/her out to the foyer. In the foyer was a mother wrestling her two year old, whom for some reason wasn’t in the “worshiping mood”. She said to me “maybe this is why we weren’t invited to special church”. I began to realize there was something going on I could really sink my teeth into.

Special Church.

As it turns out some kind of non-denominational (group/worshiping body) approached our local leadership and requested to attend one of our services as part of “this thing they do” were they go around trying out other churches and learning about other faiths. I am told there are about 60 of them. So, sensing that coming to a regular worship service wouldn’t be exactly putting our best-foot-forward. WE/they created a special service, were in; only certain families would be invited [those without kids (unless offspring of byu graduate parents)]. They idea of course was to create a service devoid of unnecessary noise (so that the spirit could prevail) because as we all know the spirit has no power over ambient noise. So special people were invited to special church.

OK, so I wasn’t invited to special church; Heaven knows I would not have wanted to go. Its just the idea that I was de-selected arbitrarily. Confirms to my mind that someone up-there/down-here doesn’t like me that much. Special church was 1, one, uno,.. one hour long. Do you know how long real church is… 3, three hours. Also I am told that at “special church” they’re were refreshments served. Whose church were we trying to portray cuz at my church, the only refreshments come in the form of the Cheerios I bring for my kids to keep them confined for three hours.

Why create a mock church. Were we/they ashamed of what real church is? Three hours, the Mormon children’s howler monkey choir and <gasp>,, no treats.

When and if I get excommunicated for this blog (for not supporting my local leaders) which I do. I would like to be the first one to sign up for “special church” cuz that sounds like a worship service I could really sink my teeth into.

addendum 1/30/08: more information- I am told (by those who think this was a good idea) The part I missed cuz I was late to church was somthing like this. “We don’t want to offend anybody, so dont be offended,” and ” lets just keep this on the down-low” paraphrased. I just keep thinking there must be some angle to this I am missing; somthing that makes it all right and good. The zelots say “Matt whats the big deal, you blow everything out of porportion, there were 60 of them, where would they sit”. hmmm. well thats not good enough for me. as a point of calarification this was a STAKE deal. I can almost picture the high counsil meeting in my minds eye. ” oh this is a great oppurtunity, which ward should we tell them to go to”? ” well not 2nd ward that one is full of crazies”. “not 4th ward those people are too snotty”. “I know lest make up a ward”. yes yes. we’ll call it.. special church. . well gotta go looks like there are a couple of elders here to deliver me a special letter… yikes (kidding)

January 30, 2008 - Posted by | Uncategorized |


  1. I CAN’T believe it! That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! Unbelievable that your local leaders would put on some kind of “pretend” church service. I would be on the bisphop’s doorstep letting my voice be heard if that happened in my ward. Haven’t your leaders ever read Third Nephi??? I think I’ll send them a copy of the Book of Mormon. . . .

    Comment by Kathleen | January 30, 2008 | Reply

  2. Wow! Just… Wow!

    Comment by BugHunter | January 30, 2008 | Reply

  3. I want to let it be known that not all wards outside Utah are appostate, infact I would surmise that it is just the opposite for as many times as I have heard the prophet talk about some instance of mormon persecution of non-mormons in Utah, but I digress, I would write a letter to my stake president and area authority immediatley, I am appaulled, I would want people to see just how normal we are plus the kind of people who form our congregations, in most other churches you don’t see a lot of young people, just old women and their unwilling husbands who they drag along. Which brings me to another topic, “Why men hate going to church,” a book you can read and annoy your wives with. Heres the link:

    Comment by Cuzin Chris | January 30, 2008 | Reply

  4. I thought I would never comment again on a blog, but here goes. How hypocritacle and deceiving of your stake. And So, to try to give a benifit of the doubt, Maybe they discussed this with the other church and decided together to do it this way.With everyone knowing it was not the norm. It could happen!.

    Comment by Matts Mom | January 31, 2008 | Reply

  5. Murphy’s Law (or rather Matt’s law as it should be) states that if anything wrong, weird, or apostate can happen, then it will happen to Matt or his immediate surroundings/environment. How else can you explain putting your waterproof glove (with hand inside) in a pot of boiling water to retrieve a hand warming device.

    If the weird/apostate abnormal or controversial things happened to anyone else it just would not be as exciting. Thus it is a service you are performing to the rest of us by being subject to Matt’s law.

    Thanks again for the laugh.

    Comment by D. Dudley | January 31, 2008 | Reply

  6. No one ever said that Stake Presidents would be perfect… The atonement works just as well for them as it does for us.

    Comment by Holly Brimhall | February 7, 2008 | Reply

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