Bitterbarn’s Weblog

aka “The Bull” (some content not suitable for children or religous zealots)


Lately my mind has been cast on things of more serious nature than I would normally have liked. This, I feel has made my blogging heavier than I want and its time for some humor. Unfortunately, With such serious engagements in my near future I have either failed to see the humor in life (omit monkey and pig story) or simply nothing funny is happening right now. So, I hearken back to a story always good for a laugh; from my tenure in the Philippines.

To know me is to know my bowels ( a wise man once said) . Within the first 6 months of my mission in the Philippines I acquired a form of diarrhea that to this day physicians can not explain to me. It’s entirely possible that I had this condition even earlier than said mission; nevertheless, I blame the Philippines.

As every good missionary knows; teaching the gospel to successful city folk is difficult. In other words people with money don’t often feel inclined to hear about religion. If they already have religion they figure its working out for them so why should they need more. I can’t imagine trying to teach successful white folk in American cities. ANYWAY; we would often travel as far to the out-skirts of our designated area as possible to find the really down and out people. Often we would have to ride a jeep-nee to get to one of these barrios. So, by time we started working in the morning we were often up to 20 miles away from our apartment.

One fateful night we had an appointment late in the evening (after dark) in this far away area. After our appointment was finished we began the walk home. Hoping that a Jeep-nee or even a man on a motorcycle would stop and pick us up. After we walked for about a mile or two, in the dark. It seemed as though getting a ride back to town was going to take some “divine intervention”.

I began to feel that rumbly-in-my-tumbly (winnie the poo). It’s is a feeling that I now characterize as the ten second warning. Having walked along this major highway for almost an hour and seeing no-one I began to wonder if it would be safe for me to just step of the side of the road and “take care of business” boy scout style. It very soon got to the point where I had no options; well ok I had two options but one of them made for a rather miserable walk home and even worse if someone picked us up. So I told my companion of my “quick and dirty” plan. I stepped about 10 feet of the side of the road, pulled my pants down and……jeepnee.jpgjeepney-group.gif

At this precise moment in time, a jeep-nee full of people stopped exactly on the side of the road where i was doing my “business”. My companion quickly jumped on and asked the driver to wait for me. As I looked up in horror, there were about 30 Filipinos stuffed in this thing; some on top, all pointing and laughing at the American squatting in the bushes next to the “busy” highway. I did get on the jeep and got ride home but the “divine intervention” left something to be desired.

March 31, 2008 - Posted by | Uncategorized |

1 Comment »

  1. Now that is some good old “smack you in the face” good humor, thank you my good man I can always count on you to make me blow milk, or what ever other beverage I may be drinking at the time, out of my nose.(mental note, no drinking beverages of any kind while reading bitterbarn.)

    Comment by Mark | April 8, 2008 | Reply

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