Bitterbarn’s Weblog

aka “The Bull” (some content not suitable for children or religous zealots)

Is That a Fat Joke?

I am a fat guy; There I said it. It becomes ever more comfortable as the years go by. Personally I think Iam more Bull than Hippo. Although, because Iam a fella who weighed in at 116 lbs on his first drivers license I reminded daily; both by myself and others that my current habitus is not what Mother nature intends.

Skinny People, if not overtly, tend to promote themselves to the level of all knowing when it comes to feeling pity for us poor fat people. Fortunately for us fat people, we are at no loss when it comes to trying to figure out how we got to this sad and lowly state. Fat people need not bother with reading magazines about weight loss, or scientific journals. We don’t need an instructor or Jenny Craig, nor dietitian or genetics councilor. Simply ask your “friendly” neighborhood skinny person what ever you could do to loose some weight and you will be blasted with a smorgasboard of premediatated pontification; that has lay dormant for so long awaiting your request.

Near daily Iam approached with new fangled diets or a new exercise regimen offered by skinny people as a token of charity. Do I look so miserable I ask myself. I must look like the little old lady on the side of the road with a flat tire. Something about us fat people must scream out Help me Help me.  maybe people believe in the BMI Body Mass Index.  A system developed by an Insurance company to place Fat people into categories. The Higher your BMI the less they have to insure you.  Consequently Higher BMI’s have been associated with disease states.  rubbish.

On behalf of fat people everywhere; Don’t call us, We’ll call you. Don’t you skinny people realize that if we weren’t fat, where would you be?? Your welcome (in advance).


July 29, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , | 16 Comments

The Black Hole

Do you know what a Black hole is?

Technically I am not sure I could explain the phenomena. I do know there have been movies about “black holes”, I learned about “black holes” in a science class in High School. If you have never heard of a “black hole” and are nevertheless using the Internet; you can excuse yourself right now. Please don’t come back to this blog. As I have mistakenly made an assumption that there are some universal truths that “everyone” is aware of regardless of race.

Now here is a JUDGE.

This video is SEVEN kinds of stupid. We are about to elect one of these folks for president. This man isn’t stupid because of his race. Its his culture!! I challenge any Black, Afro American or brotha to come on here and explain to me just what this “judge” is thinking I would like to find a plethora of black folks who think the exact same way as this fella.

If thats not enough to kill some brain cells watch this one.

White-as-a-ghost: An unpleasant state of being after a frightening experience.White-lie: An attempt to justify a falsehood.

White-noise: Excessive talking that is devoid of meaning or purpose.
White-chip: Something of little or minimal value.
White-elephant: An item thought significant but revealed to be useless.
White-food: Unhealthy processed foods; sugars, bleached flour, starch.
Whitehead: An embarrassing and unsightly pimple.
Whitewash: To cover over a scandal or wrong doing.
Whiteout: A hazardous winter weather condition.
White-feather: The symbol of cowardliness.
White-livered: A coward.
White-flag: A signal of weakness and surrender.
White-lighting: An illegal form of alcohol.
Whitewater & Whitecaps: Turbulent and perilous water conditions.

This guy helps make policy.

UPdate: It’s called a “black hole” because the gravitational force is so great that NOT EVEN LIGHT can escape from it.

July 18, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , | 7 Comments

Iam Yours

Jason Mraz

July 12, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | , | 3 Comments