Bitterbarn’s Weblog

aka “The Bull” (some content not suitable for children or religous zealots)

Dumb it down please!!!

These kids!, you birth em, you get up in the night, you feed them, change them, you pick up poop of the floor, you scrub the walls when they write on them and now I have to study with them. The Elementary school my daughter goes to is supposed to be this “really good” school. bla bla bla.

Well its so damn hard I couldn’t go there. In first grade she has home work every-night. With spelling words like “dribble” and “handy”, I would have been held back 3 years. What ever happened to “dick and Jane”. She is getting letter grades already. Every day when she gets home we have to sit down and do homework with her until its time for bed. Who is in school here her or us. FIRST GRADE come on!! These teachers must really think highly of themselves put so much stock in what a kid learns in first grade. Hell I couldn’t write an essay until my first year of college. I am starting to think this “no child left behind” thing is not such a good idea. So “when” we move I hope we can find a school with dumber kids; or at least lower expectations. 🙂

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February 15, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | | 13 Comments

Welcome Aboard (this post is for family, sorry)

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Finally someone to carry on the Smith name dad says:) Dylan Victor Smith is the newest of the clan and wastes no time making his mark(so to speak). Bowel trouble is somewhat of a family legacy. My father and his father before him all had bowel issues. Why, I remember as a wee lad looking at the giant chevron shaped scar on grandpas belly countless times. To this day no one in the family actually knows what grandpa had surgery for exactly. No one needs reminding about Dad’s bowel trouble as he’s sure to tell you all about it when you see him. And for me, up until about a week ago I though pooping your pants was normal. My brother Wes turns into a monster if the hydrochloric acid Ph molarity gets to high in his stomach. Couzin Chris Actually did poop on the floor at moms house. All of these people have been screwed by (the institute of medicine) and what I mean by that is. Despite having seen and paid many “doctors” (phyiscians really) none of the afore mentioned had ever gotten a diagnosis let alone treatment. (I don’t expect (the institute of medicine) to diagnose or treat) I know better.

But this little guy not only has proclaimed his arrival as a Smith because of bowel trouble, he has actually been diagnosed and treated. This kids got gutts is more than a distasteful pun; its also true. Who pre-tel would have the “guts” to be “worked up” by intermoutain health-care physicians a day after his birth for projectile vomiting and be released with a clean bill of health? Dylan would.

Dylan is now in the NICU (newborn intensive care unit) at primary children’s hospital. One week after his birth. I will leave the particulars out and let my brother have is privacy (a little).

I salute you young nephew, and pray the phyciacans and nurses who attend you will be at their best. As they must have been for another Victor Smith (grandpa) when was in such a situation.

p.s. making light of a serious situation is a coping mechanism for me. I feel sad, mad, scared, sick and helpless….. I don’t know what else to do….

January 9, 2008 Posted by | Uncategorized | | 7 Comments

Misery loves company

I just read the funniest most truthful blog. It characterizes parenthood as the second oldest pyramid scheme.

My brother who is 30 is finally having his first baby and oh how Sweet it is. Here’s a guy who sleeps until 0800 in the morning before going to work whenever he wants. On the weekend, if I call before 0900; it is as if I have committed high treason. Whilst I on the other hand have often been up since 0600 changing diapers finding a cartoon making breakfast listening to whining ect ect.

Another friend of ours who has been less than fertile is blessed to be … oh who knows about 30 weeks pregnant now? I don’t know why either of these couples have endeavored to embark on this journey of a thousand tears. I can only assume that they, having witnessed our unending glee have been jealous all this time. We must have been making it look easy. They must have wanted for themselves the obvious joy we so obviously flaunt.

To you and others we have bamboozled I say welcome. Welcome to my world sucka.

November 13, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | | 3 Comments

Brin’s photo shoot

[Well, Our new IMAC has a nifty little camera built into the screen. “the B” found it and figured out how to use it. She acted alone. When I got home from work her mug was all over my desktop. for all the embarassment she has given me ie church and movies. You know what they say “paybacks a… cinch”

November 10, 2007 Posted by | Uncategorized | | 1 Comment