Bitterbarn’s Weblog

aka “The Bull” (some content not suitable for children or religous zealots)

flex those abs girls.

Do you work out, like ALL THE TIME? Like me?
I don’t feel like I am getting the results the infomercial says I will.
I remember as a young lad in gym class coach would say something about keeping my ab-domino muscles flexed when I exhale. Which I do… I totally do. Maybe I exhale at the wrong time??? I usually flex my abs and push them out as hard as I can. Thats what they mean. Right? When they say “flex those abs”!!! My wife who teaches or taught aerobics told me if you don’t “flex” said abs you could get a little “pooch”. well I do, I most definantly do. I don’t want to get a pooch like this guy so I flex my abs as hard as I can.fatmatt

May 20, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | | 4 Comments


I was just loading my car to go to the airport, we are going to visit my wifes family in Cleavland of all places. My sister-in-law is medical resident. I was going through my self prescribed therapy that has me putting all my differences with medicine aside for the week. (to keep the peace) I started thinking when did I become so jaded toward medicine and capitalism and “the man” anyway. Then I was caught up in a vision.
When I was in the 11th grade I worked at a furniture store in Murray Utah. I delivered the furniture. Horrible job actually, we delivered marble tables at times up several flights of stairs. I got the job because one of my church leaders was the store owner. He must of thought it a very cleaver way to exploit children by paying them 5 bucks an hour to ruin their backs for life. Anyway one day were to deliver a black table to a woman in park city. After searching for the item in the warehouse we came back to the store owner and told him we could not find the table. He told us “oh its in the back here I am almost done with it”. We went to the back office and found a half white half spray painted black table. As he finished spray painting the rest of the table he gave us a can of spray paint so we could touch it up in the truck when we got the womans house.
Thats they day I learned what business was about. Selling widgets, no matter the moral cost. I have translated that to what goes on in our health care system and I must view medicine as the store owners.
It led to one of my two great rules that I live by and challenge anyone to dissprove. rule #1 is “nothing is real”

hey… its a bitterbarn.

May 7, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | , | 4 Comments

Cupon addict.

The other foot.

My wife; bless her saintly heart is always trying to make me better. I don’t know if it is for her sake or mine. I assume the later but who knows really. I suppose; or hope you wife is the same. Can you think of something she wants you to be “better” at. Its nice to have someone trying to make you better 😉
I think she is addicted to coupons. between you and me I think we get like 10 news papers every week, so we have a plethora of cupons. She goes out to these stores and robs them blind. For example; a few weeks ago she went to albertsons and bought 5 boxes of cereal and at the end of the transaction THEY owed HER 5 bucks. We have more food storage than we have ever had. I am certain fruit loops will make through a nuclear winter. She says she can feel it getting out of hand though. We have cupons tacked to the wall with yarn running from one to another and maps of stores. LIke on a beautiful mind, or something you might see in a serial murderers apartment. I think its time for a twelve step program honney.

April 24, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | | 2 Comments

“taking a bath”

Who doesn’t like a nice warm bath now and then? (I am not gay) I am not talking about the kind of bath where you get naked and sit in a fiberglass pot full of human stew. Not a bath with bath salts that effervesce; Chandler Bing.
I am talking about when things aren’t going so hot, if fact THINGS are downright nasty and you decide to ride the wave to get all your nasties out in one plunge. Big business does this. Executives are under “pressure” to report good things about their companies quarter after quarter. They save all their crappy news in a file called “save for the bath” Then, in a down turn like we’re having or in a quarter where they might think they could get away with some bad news they dump all their bad news on ya at once so as not to take a beating for every little thing; they could just get spanked once. Am I making sense?
For example. If your wife come home late from Bunco and finds that you haven’t cleaned the kitchen. If she gets real mad at you this would be a good time to also tell her you did’t change the baby, forgot to pay the bills, haven’t payed tithing in six months, haven’t registered her car, didn’t refill the toilet paper, forgot to get the family vacation off and didn’t move the laundry around like she asked.
This way you can get beat up for all these things at once rather than take many many smaller beatings This is called taking a bath.

ANY Who…. We see corrupt corporations doing this all over the place now. Intermountain health care a private network of hospitals here in Utah; has ooooodddleeesss of money. The just announced they would not contribute to their employees 401k’s anymore; of course the execs will still get their bonuses. IHC has taken the opportunity of the weak economy to take a bath, tons of companies are doing this. When the econ bounces back they will be that much more ahead. GM is clearly doing this, They saw a great opportunity in a recession to cry poor and we all believe it because hey “times are hard”. The net effect is that GM will be able to cut some fat out of their employees and when the econ comes back they will make even more money than they had been before.

Moral of the story is if you work in an industry that isn’t really effected by the recession watch out for those execs at work to pretend times are tough to eek out some more of their bonus off your back.
demonize? of course. their demons.

April 14, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | , | 2 Comments